I have a confession to make. Without even realizing it, I regained weight, over several months, I gained around 7kg to reach a fitness weight.
What’s wrong ?
My silhouette has changed, my clothes fit me differently or even sometimes no longer fit.
And I have trouble accepting these changes.
I wanted to scream, cry, and especially fast, as if doing so would change anything to my discomfort. And then I thought about it. I had been saying for months, even years, that I wanted to gain weight and shape, so why go back?
Deep down, no matter how much I said I wanted to gain a few pounds, I wasn’t doing anything about it.
I identified myself as a person who would eat a lot without gaining weight.
In the end, it was all a lie, because basically I wasn’t doing anything to gain weight: I still had this hyper-control over my appearance, so that it didn’t change for anything in the world.
But here it is gradually, I released the pressure, until I dropped everything for good.
And I gained weight back.
I didn’t gain weight, no I gained pounds that were just waiting for my signal to come back to adorn my body.
I still have trouble with this new appearance but I am working to accept it.
If you are in this situation too, I have some tips that can help you:
- do not weigh yourself,
- seek the advice of trusted persons on this physical change,
- buy new clothes that you like and make you feel comfortable,
- avoid mirrors that reflect you from head to toe
There are probably other ways to start accepting this new body, but the main thing is to think that a few pounds won’t change the incredible person you are.
What matters in life is not appearance, not numbers on a scale or jeans.
We are all beautiful, and that doesn’t matter what your eating disorder says!
Do you want to share your recovery story ? Contact us!
Need some more help ?
You can download feeleat app, a tool to help you understand the way you eat to finally find a better relationship with food. Thanks to its smart digital food diary, you’ll be able to link your food intakes to your bodily sensations & emotions, & to share that data with your medical team to get a more effective and personalized treatment.