Each of us experiences eating disorders differently, with our own emotions and a very personal perspective on these experiences.
I’m 25 years old, and I have seven years of experience.
I am “only” a saleswoman, but I love my job.
I am athletic, I run and I am part of a group with whom I take great pleasure in getting involved (organizing, sharing, proposing my ideas…).
Our troubles hide a temperament to do things with a lot of excess.
In “excess”, I mean living things in too great extremes.
I explain myself: I do things 200% of the time, in my work, in sport, in love…
I was followed by 3 different psychiatrists, and I remember a sentence common to each of them:
“You know the disease perfectly and have perspective with analyses of yourself that are more than right but totally at odds with your ways of acting. »
We have also all heard these sentences which are so difficult to appropriate: “Love each other! “Be selfish! »
To read: Letter to those who suffer
Medical follow-up may sometimes seem unnecessary, but it seems to me essential.
That’s why I met 3 different psychiatrists, 1 dietician and even my own doctor with whom I’m comfortable.
I have never had a follow-up for more than 4 months, but each one has allowed me to mature in terms of my life in general.
To summarize, I’m talking about TAKING A STEP BACK and MATURITY.
I may not be completely recovered, I wear glasses and yet I still see myself too fat, I exercise 4 to 6 times a week in addition to my job at 35h and yet I don’t feel I’m doing enough…
But with time, this hindsight and maturity, I gradually let go what was cutting my life off from some simple joys: at Christmas, I gave my family a gift: I told them that I had not weighed myself for 10 days, we were all crying with joy.
It may sound absurd, but since then I’ve weighed myself more than once every 10 days,
- I then freed myself from the weight of the scales and all those numbers that made me unhappy more often than not,
Spacing the weighing process makes it easier to accept the catch,
- I go out to dinner with my friends and I am more and more happy about the choice of dishes,
- I no longer systematically refuse a generously offered candy store,
- I taste what I cook for others and sometimes I serve myself a plate,
- I feel less guilty when I miss a sports session (which was planned in my head)
Because it is important to get out of this bubble, and understand that life, happiness is synonymous with sharing, the unexpected and letting go.
You have to learn listening to yourself.
I have understood many things:
- I understood that I had the right to rest,
- I understood that we had to accept the weaknesses,
- I understood that this disease could really make us lose our lives even if sometimes we say “I’m far from being at this stage” (Stop!),
- I realized that being cold to the point of shivering when it is 20 degrees is not normal,
- I understood that I had the right to be loved,
- I understood that love is worth making an effort. (Especially for us too!!!!)
Fight your fears in the same way that you control your actions so perfectly.
Our mental strength in the face of unfailing control makes us fighters!
Change paradigms and use your energy wisely, may it serve you positively in your struggle.
The trend will slowly reverse, show patience and perseverance, nothing is lost!
Fanny, 25 years old, certainly with 7 years of hindsight but now with extra kilos of happiness.
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